Sometimes when I’m in the mood for a tasty snack, I just want something different.  Sure, the pickled bologna, dandelions and rice, or potato chips are good… but man does not live on bread alone.

I tried hummus for the first time a few years ago, as a vegetable dip, and I thought it was meh at best.  It wasn’t until I had it with tortilla chips that I started to really enjoy it.  Hummus, as Wikipedia tells it, is a dip or spread made from cooked, mashed chickpeas, blended with tahini, olive oil, lemon juice, salt, and garlic.

Now, you can buy some delicious pre-made hummus at the grocery store, but it’s quite expensive—the American hummus cartel keeps the prices artificially high (The previous statement may not be factual).  You can stick it to the man by making it yourself at home; it’s disgustingly easy.

You will need the following hardware:

• Can opener
• Food processor
• Spatula
• Bowl

You will need the following software:

• 1 can of Chickpeas
• 2 Tablespoons of Olive oil
• 1/4 Cup of Lemon juice
• 1/4 Cup of Tahini (Sesame paste)
• 1 clove (1/2 Tablespoon minced) of garlic
• 1/2 Teaspoon of Salt
• 1/8 Teaspoon of Cumin
• 1/4 to 1/2 Cup of Water

Step 1: Use the can opener to open the chickpeas, then drain the excess juice.

Step 2: Throw everything (not the hardware) into the food processor.

Step 3: Puree the life out of your hummus.  Add water as necessary to make a good consistency.  You want to make it smooth and almost whipped.

“OH NO! I couldn’t find any tahini in Linton‽€

No worries!  I have to use sesame oil instead of tahini.  Just replace the ¼ cup of tahini with some sesame oil.  I use about 1/2 of a tablespoon.  This will alter the taste and texture slightly, but it is still pretty darn good.  My other secret: add extra cumin—I just love the warm flavor; add some more, and taste it to see if it’s better.

Before you use The Spatula„¢ and The Bowl„¢, now would be the time to throw in any extra flavors.  I like roasted red peppers, but I’ve heard good things about jalapeños, parsley and scallions, pine nuts, eggplant, and pretty much anything else.  I’ve heard rumors of chocolate hummus… ಠ_ಠ

Step 4: Throw the finished hummus in the bowl, scrape it all out with the spatula, chill if desired, and enjoy with chips, pita, on bread, with crackers, or even with a spoon.